lyrics
Looking back, this whole thing could have easily been avoided. In fact, she could see just about a hundred ways this whole thing could have been avoided. But hindsight was 20-20, yeah? Unless you were from planet Neetch. For Neetchees, hindsight was just plain damn 20.
She had been thirsty. A lot less water out in space than you’d think, unless you have the equipment to harvest and melt hard ice. It had been a long run, over twenty jumps from Alpha Centauri to the Primary System.
Usually she was a pretty good planner. But she’d taken the job the morning out of a weekend long bender. So she ended up thirsty. And then, like a fountain in hell, there was Neetch. 92% water. Hoo-ray. It's a miracle. Hal-ay-freakin'-lu-yah.
Inhabited? Sure. But look at that, they’re cute! Like little upright puppies with one eye. They think they’re human, ha ha!
Then the eyes turned red, and bore a hundred tiny holes straight through her ship. They fried her generator coil, her fuel tanks, her nav, her com, her everything. The only silver lining was the puppy-eye laser-beams only seemed to work on metal.
She couldn’t even count how many of the puppy-people she murdered with her bare hands. But it had felt good. She felt content. And why shouldn’t she?
I mean, it was Christmas, after all.
credits
from
The Beyonders Christmas Album,
released December 8, 2016
Aaron Varnell - Sax
Chico Vela - Drums, jingle bells
Jacob Breier - Guitar, ukulele
Kevin Skrla - Bass, steel guitar
license
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